Re Miley Cyrus and Moral Judgments

I feel like there's a predictable cycle these days with "news" or semi-news or old news (RIP Neil Armstrong...still) or Breaking Bad spoilers on social media. First, the thing happens and everyone's talking about it. Then, everyone's talking about how everyone's talking about it. Then, everyone's talking about the one or two dumb dumbs who take the 'minority view' to be cool. Then, everyone's talking about how horrible it is that we're talking about it when X is happening over here.

Cue Miley Cyrus.

Last night I was writing the news round-up for Rhode Island and one of the stories I saw mentioned that the town of Warwick is raising money for a memorial to the 100 people who died in the Station Nightclub fire ten years ago. Remember that? When there were too many people inside and they got stuck in the doorway?

I spent the rest of the night clinging to Aaron's neck and trying to dam my mind flood of all the terrible things that happen all the time, and whether or when they will hapen to us and what they will be.

But when I went to bed, all I could see was Miley Cryus. Going to bed after the VMA's. Alone with her thoughts. With what she just did. I immediately sat upright in bed and said to a sleeping Aaron who never heard me - Aaron! Miley Cryus is alone somewhere right now! And that was almost as bad as the Station Nightclub fire in that minute.

I saw the Onion's article yesterday faking CNN Managine Editor Meredith Artley's reasoning for covering Miley's performance (performance?) at the VMA's. I understand why people take issue with its prominence in the headlines, but I do think it's news. Because this is where we are now. This is what we do. No one booed her. No one cut the feed. This is what we do now.

It's kind of unbelievable to me (though predictible) that we're so up in arms about it, though. The collective We usually pride ourselves on being rabidly non-judgmental, don't we? Aren't we the tolerant relativists your grandmother never had?

It's a legit question, this one: can we make moral judgments? About anything?

We certainly have about Miley Cyrus. And cigarettes. And pedophiles. And cheating on your taxes and going to war with Iraq and using your NSA title to snoop on your ex-boyfriend.

But then curiously, several other things are simply out of bounds. We must NOT make moral claims about homosexuality. We must NOT make moral claims about abortion. We must NOT make moral claims about art, or curriculums, or how the government spends its money.

I think we need to do some soul-searching, because I think we all know that we need to make moral judgments, not just about some things but about everything, about our role here in general; and in fact it doesn't matter whether we THINK we should because we do make these judgments every day.

Now, re: Miley:

When I was in kindergarten in Massilon, Ohio my priest's name was Father Kolp and he rode his bike everywhere. He had bright white hair and every year on the feast of the Assumption he prayed from the pulpit for Madonna. Yes, that Madonna. A few years back I finally asked my Mom why he did that (I remember assuming as a kid that all Catholic churches were praying for pop stars that day.) She said for some reason he had some special burden for her. Her mother allegedly named her for the Blessed Mother and she was so lost that it broke his heart, enough to pray for her from the pulpit every year at least.

So let's do that for Miley.

Not Making a Decision is Boring and Not New and I'm Frustrated At You About It

I know a dude who really likes to talk about working out. Like, talking about working out is his working out. Protein shakes. How many reps he did yesterday. The "kids" at the gym that are just constantly asking for advice and the ladies that are asking for phone numbers. Or whatever. You might be thinking - what a tool! And you wouldn't be wrong, necessarily, but that's not the point I'm trying to make.

Physically he is just kind of your average dude. Definitely not a body-builder, which, if you listened to him, you'd think he would be at this point. A little overweight even. Nothing wrong with that, but just kind of unexpected from a dude who should probably marry his dumbbells if he loves them so much (ZING!)

But, no matter how much we'd like it to be, talking about something isn't doing it. That's my segue (blogging is hard.)

This past week I found myself wandering through posts on a new blog that a very close and trusted friend had recommended to me, with the prompting "she reminds me of you!" So naturally I was excited at the potential of finding another e-kindred spirit. I love e-kindred spirits. (Also adding "e-" to things. SUCH A GEN Y, me.)

Immediately I found myself in a black hole of political-disguised-as-not posts. Don't get me wrong, obviously I don't find anything wrong with political posts. Hello, welcome to my blog. But I do find something wrong with being political but pretending you're not; or, more specifically, being political while talking about how you're 'above politics.' It's pretentious and manipulative for one, but it's just bad writing, too. If you wanted to know how I felt about that.

But one post really got to me. (No, really! I get mad sometimes!) It was about abortion, which I'm not going to get into right now, because neither I nor I expect you have the energy right now. I just don't. I can't. Maybe I will talk about it another day but not today. I even just shotgunned a whole Diet Sunkist in about 10 minutes but I still can't. All the Diet Sunkists in the world couldn't make me talk about abortion today! (If you wanted a one-liner from this post to put on your Pinterest.)

The post was very long, which I guess can be expected when you're talking about abortion (I'm too tired!). But the end conclusion was this:

"I'm not sure how I feel about it and we should all be nice when we talk about it."

That was the conclusion.

And the comments! Almost 1,000 comments! Comments of gratitude! These commenters were just so refreshed at her new take on things and her civility and they were just born anew in her new, original perspective and her radical notion of 'unity' and this brand new idea that 'maybe things aren't as black and white as I thought they were when I grew up in a strict evangelical household'! (Seriously, how many stories do we have to read of people 'growing up' in 'crazy strict evangelical households' and then becoming these brilliant, enlightened prophets with the TOTALLY NEW IDEA that maybe their parents weren't always right?!)

1,000 comments of praise for a non-decision. A not new non-decision. That's weird, right? And a little sad?

So I wanted to say this, to those of us who make decisions. To those of us to go to the gym, instead of just talking about it.

Making the decision is the risky thing. That is the brave thing. It's the thing that produces fruit. Talking about "unity" does not work in the face of a crisis like abortion. There is certainly a discussion to be had about treating each other kindly and about understanding that we might not know just how scary or difficult it might be to face an unwanted or unplanned pregnancy. But that discussion has been had. Over and over and one million times just now while you got up to use the restroom. It's not new and it's not novel, and it's not nearly as important as the actual truth, which exists whether we're nice about it or not (and whether we believe it or not.)

Please make a decision. Please. And if you don't, don't you dare criticize those who do. Not making a decision does not make you morally superior; it makes you a dead weight to the conversation.

Also - seriously, dude? If you mention your "traps" or your "glutes" one more time I'm going to go call Gold's Gym and ask how many times you've been in the past month, and then post it on the community board in the lunch room. Don't test me.