Tuesday, April 24, 2012


The other day I was looking for tortilla shells at Fry's, which is our new grocery store now that we've moved across town. I have a thing with grocery stores, in that other than the actual home I move away from, they are the things I miss most when I move. I actually cried once on vacation in South Carolina when I was a kid because I felt homesick for the Giant Eagle on route 44 in Louisville. Other than that, no I'm not on medication, why do you ask? (Yes I am.)

Anyway Aaron and I hate Fry's. They sell couches. In addition to, you know. Cream cheese. That must be a liberal thing because I am so not on board and I feel like it has Joe Biden written all over it.

So I was looking for tortilla shells and I went down the aisle called "Mexican Fare," in which I found taco seasoning, crunchy taco shells, hot sauce, every chili-pepper-related spice known to man, but no tortillas. So I kept looking and then I found them in the bread aisle, next to the dried fruit and rubber-handled kitchen utensils, in case you were wondering. And then I did what any 25-year-old woman in uncomfortable heels would do at 5:30 pm on a Monday when she just found tortilla shells with really counterintuitive shelf placement, and that's start crying like it was the last day of summer camp.

I think I might have a permanent case of the "Am-I-Measuring-Up"'s, followed up by a great big perpetual NO. I don't know what causes it but I know the symptoms are uncomfortable and in addition to crying in poorly organized supermarkets they also include being short with your husband and forcing yourself to eat salad for lunch when really you would marry peanut butter if the U.S. was a little more freaking TOLERANT, damn.

This morning while I was blow-drying my hair I started humming an old song by Nichole Nordeman that I love, called "Legacy." And in addition to the fact that the starting note is exactly the same as the note my blowdryer sings (OMG FATE), it hit me that this maybe needs to be my anthem for a while. Maybe it's the antibiotic to the measuring-up disease that keeps giving me Overwhelm Spirals That End in Chocolate Cake.

I don't mind if you've got something nice to say about me
I enjoy an accolade like the rest
You could paint my picture and hang it in a gallery
Of all the Who's Who's and So-and-So's that used to be the best
At...such and such. It wouldn't matter much.

I won't lie, it feels alright to see your name in lights
We all need an 'atta-boy' or 'atta-girl.'
But in the end I'd like to hang my head on more besides
Temporary trappings of this world

I want to leave a legacy
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love?
Did I point to You enough to make a mark on things?
I want to leave an offering.
A child of mercy, and grace
Who blessed Your Name unapologetically
And leave that kind of legacy.

You don't have to look to far, or too long a while
To make a lengthy list of all that I enjoy
It's an accumulating trinket and treasure pile
That moths and rust; theieves and such will soon enough destroy

Not 'well-traveled', not 'well-read'
Not 'well-to-do' or 'well-bred'
I just want to hear instead
"Well done, good and faithful one."

Drink that in. And maybe just find recipes that don't use tortilla shells for a while.

Friday, April 13, 2012

Burning Wardrobe Questions

Dear interent, I don't care what you're wearing to Coachella. More pressing is what does one wear in Ireland?


Probable reality:

Please advise. Also, it's frightening when this is the aspect of the trip I am spending the most time thinking about when we still haven't rented a car and/or made any other arrangments outside of the flights, hotels and Titanic-related activities...

OMG TITANIC...It's April 13. I'll be here this weekend for the post that the anniversary deserves... or maybe just some weeping. Stay tuned.

Monday, April 9, 2012


We got home from church yesterday morning and I found this behind our armchair, covered in blankets. It had a clip-on fan for next to the bed and new work-out capris. Also, Reese's eggs.

These two boys stole my heart and buried it in easter baskets and nighttime puppy snuggles and free reign of Netflix, evolving into copious amounts of Downton Abbey.

Happy Easter, brothers and sisters. Don't forget that Jesus rose before we got here, so we avoided all of, you know, that, and that's pretty great. Listen, He is risen and tulips are blooming. So don't wait another second to look around and say "you know, this is all really quite lovely."

Thursday, April 5, 2012

A+ Ohio Photo Essay

You guys, omg shut up.

Somehow, somewhere, that phrase, utilized in a "that's awesome!" kind of way has worked its way into my vernacular. I don't know if Aaron has started verbally night-terroring a-la Stacey London in his sleep or what, but I keep saying it and at weird times.

Boss: Please add this employee's newborn to his benefits plan.
Me: Omg shut up seriously?
Boss: ...What?

You get the idea. Help me.

Anyway, seriously, shut your mouth because I went to Columbus last weekend for my best friend Amy's wedding and it was the most wonderful whirlwind trip you're ever about to virtually re-live.

Sometimes going to Ohio can be strange, but always in a good way. It feels strange because it feels like I was just living there, which in turn makes our life in Arizona seem to be hovering in some kind of 100 degree limbo. This trip was especially that way because I got to see SO MANY of the people I love, and we were in Columbus which is so very close to beloved Athens. Dear Athens, do you export calzones?

Amy was extraordinarily beautiful. I don't know if I've told ya'll about Amy before. But she is exceptional. Her heart is big and her sense of snark is even bigger and she loves smoothies, so pretty much Amy for President. She married an awesome guy and we got our nails done and our hair done and, obviously, drank smoothies-a-plenty.

Omg Amy, shut up. You are so cute. This day rocked.

YOU GUYS. SHUT UP AND LOOK AT HER. This is the only thing I've ever seen that's actually cuter than those viral pictures of corgi puppies on swings I keep annoyingly seeing. She sat like this because she was all ready but it wasn't time for the aisle-polka yet, so we watched the episode of The Office where Pam and Jim get secret-married at Niagra Falls. She had this planned beforehand. I can't believe I didn't marry this chick first.

If you could see my heart it would be in the shape of Ohio and this is why. Here is Carole and Shelly from church and Ashley, my bobcat roomie. (2/3 of us...we miss you Ry.) You can't believe the adrenaline that comes after seeing so many people you love so very hard like this. Aaron had to get me a cheeseburger from Wendy's afterwards. Because I was that jacked up. I know, right?

The next day we went to Easton to see the Fishers. Here's pop. One month til he flies on out to AZ and I'm ok with that.

I would have needed a Wendy's cheeseburger again were it not for the massive piece of strawberry cheesecake Aaron and I had tackled at the Cheesecake Factory just minutes before this momentous photo, which was taken, by the way, by Pete. Everyone needs a Pete and we have one.

Aaron's sister Missy and William have a dog named Charley, but really he's a muppett and he watched just about the entire OSU basketball game (moment of silence) from my lap. That's when we became best friends and he told me I could come by any time.

He likes Aaron, too, but that ain't new, girl.

And then we flew back to Phoenix and endured, yet again, the mind-numbing disappointment in mankind that overtakes my spirit upon witnessing the IDIOCY of People In Airplanes. You may see this photo and think, "Surely, Maria, this cannot be real - we have invented cellular telephones! We use leashes on unruly west coast children! We wear dresses made of meat! Surely they cannot believe they will get off faster by standing up and staring at the person's head in front of them!" But they must; because this is real. And don't call me surely.

Ohio is cloudy, but when I come back to Limbo-Phoenix after a trip there, I just feel so, so vibrant.